Healing Fertility Naturally: Ashley Holmes on Mind-Body Wellness & Empowerment | Inspire & Impact

0:04 Ashley, thank you so much for coming on our podcast, Inspire and Impact. I know you’re really busy, so it it meant a lot to me that you were able to take some time and be here. So, thank you very much for that. You’re welcome, Amut. It’s a pleasure to be here. Well, Ashley, I I think probably most of the people in the audience are not familiar with yourself. Can you share a little bit about yourself and and who you are and what you do? I am based in British Columbia, Canada and I’m a holistic fertility coach and my path really chose me and so my role now is to support women who are trying to conceive and to help them feel empowered in the process and to take their health and healing into their own hands and create that fertile foundation within and to offer the one the one support to go alongside of that. so that they can have that inner resiliency to navigate this path with some ease and grace.

1:08 Wonderful. Uh you mentioned you’re from British Columbia. So do you only work with clients in British Columbia or all of Canada, USA, anywhere in the world? Anywhere worldwide. Sometimes people seek me out because I’m Canadian, but I can work with anyone anywhere. We just have to navigate the time zone differences. Wonderful. Can you explain to people a little bit like what is a holistic fertility coach like for people who not aware of what exactly that is? How’s that different from being a nurse or something? So everything I offer is holistic and is healing and has no side effects only positive benefits. And to me that’s really important because having experienced using a fertility clinic and using fertility drugs, I know the side effects that I experienced. And so for me, I want to offer the alternative of what the medical world isn’t offering either alongside of it or on its own because it can go either ways. But I feel like a holistic approach really embodies nurturing mind, body, and spirit and not separating those and not just dealing with the physical. I’m assuming since you’re a fertility coach that you had some your personal story with some fertility issues. Can you share our audience a little bit more about that? How did you go from being a wannabe mom to a fertility coach? What was the path like? Did the doctor one day tell you you can’t get pregnant and and you start searching for answers? Yes. Really?

2:52 It was me being in my late 20s thinking this wasn’t going to be a problem. this wasn’t going to be an issue and realizing and being in denial for a long time that this wasn’t happening or occurring naturally. Also in the back of my mind thinking that once I go down this road using a clinic thinking that was the only option, you know, this is over a decade ago and that this was going to end in a heart full of of joy or heartbreak. And I was very grateful that I I did be abundantly blessed with twins. But I also left that experience not wanting to use a clinic again and not thinking that I could conceive on my own, given a diagnosis of unexplained infertility, which really doesn’t give you any answers at all. And then later when my twins were young, landing on my yoga mat and really beginning to understand that my nervous system really required some working with and beginning to make that mind, body, spirit connection and really starting to learn and practice and study this ancient wisdom, these ancient teachings that really help me to heal holistically, naturally, to conceive naturally within a short span. kind of time. And so when I was in the middle of my prana meditation training, I had a little Buddha baby in my belly. The experience between the first pregnancy and the next pregnancy was night and day difference.

4:26 It really speaks to the mindset of high stress and then a high-risisk pregnancy and emergency C-section versus the second time around being able to conceive naturally going hiking when my water broke. Having a natural birth and then being back at baby and me baby and me yoga and 10 days later postpartum was really night and day difference and also showed me what my body was truly capable of and what I wasn’t accessing or tapping into. I think that often we’re not empowered on our journeys and have been conditioned depending where we live in the world to go to the doctors to seek outside support and intervention. Yet we never actually harness and cultivate any of our own healing which we all can do. Often times everything is external and we’re not looking internal at all. me decide to start well trying to like work with other women who have a similar issue that you experienced.

5:27 It really was a pandemic transition of being at home and seeing my little one every day and knowing that he wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t experienced all of these things and wanting to help and impact people in a deeper and more meaningful way. Prior to that, I was just teaching yoga and meditation, which is great in of themselves, but I wanted to dive deeper and help people and give them the support that isn’t necessarily there when they are struggling, when they feel alone, and when they feel like they’re trying everything and still not getting the results they’re seeking. So, you’ve helped a lot of women so far on their fertility journey through holistic healing. What are some of the biggest mindset shifts that truly made a difference? I think the biggest thing with mindset is to realize that our thoughts create our reality. Whether we’re aware of it or not, it means that we have to become aware and conscious of our thoughts on a day in and day out basis. Which ones aren’t serving us? Which ones are on repeat? and begin to rewire and create new neural pathways in our brain so that we begin to water the flowers and stop watering the weeds in this garden which is our mind. It is not a oneanddone thing, but you can begin to really make these conscious shifts in your thoughts in the way that you perceive the world because we can think that this is happening to us and that we have no control over what’s happening in our life. Begin to harness and cultivate the gems that come alongside that. take the lessons learned and use that to create the path that we want. And it’s it’s a

7:23 stepbystep thing. And we might take a few steps backwards and to realize that’s all part and parcel of being human and give ourselves grace along the way, but be conscious and aware of what is truly holding us back. Most of the time, you know, 95% of our thoughts are subconscious. And so, we need to become conscious of what those thoughts are, especially the ones that are not serving us, that are not helping us on our path because we they’ll keep showing up. And these patterns can keep being repeated until we are mindful and learn the lesson that we are being asked to step into. Thank you. You mentioned you integrate holistic practices such as yoga, raiki, ayurveeta into your work. How do these practices help people reconnect with themselves in the mind, body, spirit world?

8:24 Each of them are beautiful and I love them all and they each really are a portal back to yourself. Yoga is really getting you to be embodied to be present to pay attention and through with your breath and recognize and be anchored in your breath. Reiki helps us to remove blocked energy and restore balance with it. It’s a purifying and cleansing way to work with your energy. The beauty of Ayurveda is that it reminds you that you are nature. You’re not separate of from nature. And so you align with the rhythms and in doing so you’re able to thrive and all of them sort of guides you back to your wholeness and really help you feel connected within yourself. Well, a lot of people like you know experience fear, self-doubt, limiting beliefs. Do you have any particular powerful tool you like to share with our audience of how they can like overcome these things?

9:32 A lot of beliefs or fears that people come with is that they think their body is broken. They think that their body is failing them. So, if we can pause there and shift it to something like my body is wise and I’m learning how to listen because often we’re not listening. We are getting signals and symptoms on a daily basis, but often we’re not tuned in. We’re not listening to the messages that we’re receiving. So, you can really embody a new belief. You can embody a new narrative. You can rewrite your story. You don’t have to keep living and replaying the same story. And so it is important to know that you can overcome these barriers that are present for you, but you may require some support to do so. Because when someone’s not there to hold our hand, sometimes we do fall back into our our view of safety and security and maybe what we’ve known for so long.

10:42 Even if it doesn’t serve us, it just may be familiar to us. that may be familiar to our nervous system and therefore there we are again, you know, and to actually face our fears instead of running away from them because often times it just perpetuates it, you know, it just makes it bigger than it really is. But if we can actually sit with it, if we can actually be with it, then it’s able to dissipate and dissolve. One of the practices of yin yoga in particular is being able to sit with discomfort, to find comfort in the uncomfortable. And it’s a practice. But when we’re able to do that on our mat, and we can cultivate that on our mat, then we’re able to do that off of our mat in challenging situations. Now they’re asking from a lot of the women that you’ve talked with or their clients or potential clients, did any of them share with you that they had some friction with their spouse about doing these holistic practices? I mean, has that ever been an issue or or not really? Like it’s always the spouse has been on board whatever they want to do. Anybody that has come to me, their spouse has always been on board. So, it hasn’t been an issue yet.

12:03 But one of the beautiful things that I have witnessed is tools and strategies that I have given to support the woman in this process. They’ve been able to transfer to their spouse when their spouse has come home from work and is stressed out. And then they have become the teacher. You know, they have taken the lessons that I have given them and the tools and resources I have given them and transferred them. So that’s a beautiful thing as well to be like this helped me. why don’t you try this and see if this helps you. There are tons of healing modalities out there and some people gravitate and things work for them, you know, and that’s what they will sort of lean towards. And so always with my clients, what they find most calming, most soothing, most relaxing, most grounding and brings them back to their center of self most easily. That’s what we move towards because that’s really where they need to be. They need to be out of fight or flight mode and they need to be in rest and digest mode for them to have this be a process of ease and receptivity.

13:16 So many people who feel disconnected from their inner wisdom or their higher self, how can someone begin this journey back home to themselves to get to know who they really are? I think for most of us it requires stillness and that isn’t necessarily glorified in the world that we live in. And it is really important to be able to find that for yourself to cultivate that in your life and create that space for you to be able to listen within and whether it’s breath work or journaling or starting your day with meditation to take that time to connect with yourself before you continue on your day. And I feel like if you are stressed or triggered or overwhelmed, that is your invitation always to take a pause to connect with your breath and to not persevere and push through. It better to reset in the moment and then move from that state than to just continue on with a fragmented state of mind.

14:33 So you speak a lot about conscious living and elevated state of being. What are some simple daily rituals or techniques that you can share with our audience that help people shift into a more empowered state? I think it’s important to ask yourself in any any situation is is this person, place, experience, relationship is it depleting me or is it nourishing me? And that is going to give you a lot of feedback. And to pick those spaces and places that are uplifting, that are elevating, that really set you up for the life you want to live, for the way you want to feel, and that you’re making conscious, intentional choices day in and day out. When you’re not choosing, you’re allowing life to choose for you. And so it’s better to make those from an empowered place instead of just being at the mercy of the world.

15:42 And so great ways to do this is to not reach for your phone first thing in the morning. You know, it’s really like inviting everybody that you know like into your bedroom. You wouldn’t do. Well, it’s important to take that time and space to, you know, be mindful, to be present, and just have a little bit of stillness in your day before, you know, you rush into the next things. And another thing would be that food is medicine. And so how we fuel ourselves, how present we are, how mindful we are really matters in the way that we absorb those nutrients because if we’re scrolling, if we’re in the car, then we’re not actually being present and not receiving what we think we are from the food we’re eating. And so another great practice is gratitude and bringing that either into the end of your day or when you can think of it.

16:50 Whether it’s when you’re opening your blinds in the morning, what are three things that you’re grateful for? or when you’re feeling stressed. It’s a great way to shift that state of being is to find gratitude in the moment because there is always something to be grateful for and to make that shift in your state of being and to be conscious and aware of that is going to help you move and shift your energy from the state and place that it was. You mentioned a lot about how stress can impact fertility, but is it even realistic for people to live stress free? When we live in a world that seems like so many people are stressed out with, you know, so much happening in the world like politics, economy, jobs. It just seems like there’s always some type of turbulence coming our way, you know, right? And I would love to speak to that because not all stress is negative. We do need some degree of stress to motivate us to get things done, but it’s also realizing when we’re really internalizing that and when that is really the way that we’re moving through life. We don’t want to be moving through life day in and day out stressed out.

18:08 Especially if you’re trying to see conceive, that is not going to help you. Yes, there is a lot of collective worldwide stress at the moment, but also the stress in the world is a reflection of, you know, the inner reflects the outer and the outer reflects the inner and they’re not separate. And so what can I do consciously day in and day out to navigate and deal with my stress so that I’m not adding to the stress of the collection and I’m not amplifying that energy and perhaps negativity that I’m doing my part for myself. And I think that’s a big difference. Um, you know, we don’t need to add fuel to the fire and how can we be more peaceful and calm ourselves and then have that ripple out into the world.

19:06 Wonderful. So you mentioned like you know impact inspiration or core to your your mission of what you do. Can you share a story of someone deeply moved? The story that tugs at my heart the most is someone that I worked with who had failed rounds of IBS, who was feeling very frustrated, who was feeling very discouraged and working with them and them still not conceiving in our time together, but also them having two frozen embryos left and for them to set themselves up for success and to continue the work that we did throughout that whole process and to now be pregnant with twins. And I guess it really just tugs at my heart because I’m also a twin mom. At first it was like I’m pregnant. And then it was a month later and still happy, still overjoyed, but she’s like I understand why I’m so tired now. You’ll understand, too. She’s like, it’s twins. And I was like, oh, that makes sense. I think that it really was just a testament to me of what happens when you do the inner work. You can be so abundantly blessed and that you can be surprised and miracles can happen beyond your wildest dreams. And for that person to sort of feel like they were at, you know, this was the last shot. There wasn’t going to be any more possibilities after that. I was and am over the moon for her and for her family because that is just such great news. It makes my heart happy. It’s the reason and mission behind why I do what I do because I think that we can take our health and our healing and change the

21:02 trajectory of our path when we choose to. But it means taking full responsibility of what you want this to feel like and look like and keeping that faith and belief even if it’s not tangible yet. That really is the tricky part why it’s important that I can hold space for people is that we want the positive pregnancy test and we want the tangible thing now or last year. The proof is in the pudding when you can feel those incremental shifts and changes energetically within yourself, within your well-being, and to know that each little step you take is a step towards that goal. That’s really wonderful. That’s an amazing uh story. Thank you so much for sharing that. How how do people react when your clients they come to you told this is not going to happen and then after working with you they’re able to get pregnant what type of response of feedback what do people say to you they are often just so shocked you know and it is just this shock and I would say a huge overwhelming sense of relief you know to finally be there because for a long time it seems like such a distant or far-reached reality and to actually have that and to be there is just simply a joy to witness and to watch and I think that we can’t rush this. Everything will happen in its own divine timing. Our nervous system is only going to go as fast as we’re ready for. There is no shortcut or quick fix. The work is really there for those who ready to undergo it and undertake it. It’s not necessarily for everybody. You can rely

22:58 solely on the medical world, but it’s very empowering to know and tap into what you truly are capable of as well. Now, when you are are done working with your clients, do you still keep in touch with them? Have are there any clients that you’re still in touch with even like you work with them like years ago? M I’m still in touch with all of them. They’re my tribe. I hold them dearly. We work closely together. So there’s a deep relationship and bond formed. They know that I’m always there to support them or help them navigate something else that may arise in their life. It’s not really a a oneanddone thing. I think it’s great to find your tribe and to have those people that are always in your corner rooting for you. So I mean they they’re also making like like a lifelong friend working with you as well. Absolutely. And that’s very precious. It is. Do you find a lot of women that come to you is some of them feel alone? They feel alone most of the time and most of the women that do come to me and I would say the experience for most people struggling with infertility is one of a sense of separation of aloneeness because often people in their world such as their friends and family members and perhaps even their co-workers are not currently experiencing what they are experiencing and therefore they feel alone. They may not feel supported and they don’t feel like they can openly share what they’re going through because it’s very vulnerable and private and personal and so there really needs to be a lot of sensitivity around that. I don’t offer any judgment. You’re welcome to come as you are. You’re not meant to be anywhere

24:51 else or experiencing anything else other than where you’re at in the present moment. We don’t need to remain there, but we can move from there. And I think there’s a lot of feelings of feeling stuck, feeling hopeless, feeling frustrated, and not knowing what the next right step may be. But when we can really listen to our intuition and follow our heart, I don’t think that we’re ever led astray. It’s coming back to and developing that trust within ourselves and within our journey. Sometimes that belief in the self is not as hearty as we want it to be because we think that our body is letting us down and it’s not working properly. We look outwardly and say why is everybody else pregnant and I’m not experiencing that. There can be comparison and judgment. And then we can feel all sorts of uncomfortable emotions which we may or may not need help moving through like anger, resentment, sadness, guilt, shame, and fear. Society doesn’t really teach us how to deal with them, how to cope with them, how to process them, how to move through them. And yet when we can, we feel so much lighter, freer, and more embodied when we actually have permission from ourselves or someone else who feel those things. I’ve been on calls and done raiki sessions for a client and I could energetically tell that tears were being withheld. I was like, "Let your tears flow. Your body is feeling sadness. let your body feel and express sadness. And so I think sometimes we suppress and we hold things in because it doesn’t feel safe for us to

26:42 release just don’t know what will happen if we actually allow ourselves to feel all our feelings because maybe we never have before. And so it definitely doesn’t need to be something you need to conquer and do alone. You don’t have to be a lone wolf in this process. And I think that’s one of the things that my teachers gave me the gift of was just to be in the moment. There was no right or wrong way to just allow things to move through me. I was given the space and opportunity to do so. And there was no time frame or right way to do things. There’s your way to do things and your way to integrate and embody things. I think that’s really a gift to be able to give people. This is what is wrong for you. This is why this is showing up for you. These are the habits and patterns that I can see in you, which I know they could see clearly, but I couldn’t see them. We don’t see our own blind spots.

27:44 And so that was an empowering way for me to awaken spiritually myself was to be given the space and opportunity to do so. Well, thank you so much uh for sharing all that. I mean, for women that feel stuck in their fertil fertility journey like with self-doubt, what’s the first step that they can take today to start shifting into a positive mindset or a positive uh direction? I think that whenever we are stuck in our overthinking mind, it’s a good opportunity to pause and to breathe and to place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly and practice diaphragmatic breathing to connect to your body to connect to your breath and to take one small loving action today towards towards yourself.

28:43 We don’t have to do it all in a day, but we can do one thing for ourselves today that is going to be a gentle next step that is supportive to us. Because I think at the same note, we can also be our harshest critic and we can really beat ourselves up when we’re not achieving what we desire to achieve in the moment. So, it’s really working with the mind to be your best friend and not your worst enemy and to realize when that negative voice is talking to you and to stop it, to recognize it and notice it and stop it right there in that moment. That’s great. You have a unique way of blending ancient wisdom with modern techniques. How do you see this role of spirituality in navigating today’s challenges or does it play a role?

29:43 Definitely plays a role. I think that spirituality isn’t separate from our daily lives. You know, it’s woven into every moment. It’s how we breathe. It’s how we speak to ourselves. It’s how we choose to show up. And the world is pulling us outward. And spirituality is really that anchor that brings us inward and connects us to ourselves. We embody that trust and alignment and we can navigate challenges from a place of wisdom instead of reaction. For the longest time, I was very reactionary, very emotional, very devastated, very disregulated, and didn’t understand or have the tools to support myself or recognize that I didn’t have a mind, body, spirit connection the first time around when I was trying to conceive. But it’s definitely something that I have cultivated and is very important to me because in every moment you can always feel divinely held and guided no matter where you are. And to just have that inner trust and knowingness for the longest time. I think that’s what I was seeking and what I thought was missing, but I didn’t really know what I was looking for and was able to find that for myself. The saying is that when the student is ready, the teacher arrives.

31:05 So that was my case and continues to be the case. U my mentor that trained me, I just returned from India was on a retreat with my guru that I’ve been studying with. I was then ready for that next upleveling, that next state of consciousness. We can’t force or rush these things. We just have to be open and embrace we were where we are in the moment and truly get out of our own ways and our own minds because much of that thought isn’t serving us. I want to ask you about that cuz I saw that in your newsletter you visit India. How was that trip? Can you share anything you learned or anything that impacted you? Oh wow. I learned so much. It really was um a very enlightening experience and I am truly grateful that I went that I was able to have that opportunity and to truly see where yoga comes from and the sacredness of it and of India in general. It’s a very spiritual place compared to the west.

32:10 One of the teachings I’ve been studying for Amanasa yoga is, you know, awakening to sorrow, understanding sorrow, and understand an ending of of your sorrow. And so had I not gone on this trip, I feel like I would have gotten to the ending bit, but I had found myself not making that full complete understanding or having that inner knowing of what that looks like, what that means, how to do that. And so it was beyond my expectations and I received everything I could have wanted and more and was absolutely poured into for 10 days. I get to come home and offer that to everybody else in my world. I think that is just the biggest blessing. What they really wanted from us was not just to take this and keep this for yourself, but to share this wisdom in your own way with those in your world and to continue to impact and inspire people in a positive way because we all know the world really needs that in this present moment.

33:20 Wow, that’s really amazing. I’m kind of jealous of you. You have like such an amazing experience there. Do you recommend other people that are interested in growing spiritually to also visit India? It is a truly sacred place and if you have the opportunity I would definitely raid it. I feel like I’m a completely different person since I came home. We can always learn something and be open to expanding by learning a different culture, traditions, rituals and practices. Yeah, I I would absolutely recommend it. It is very different to the west. It is so busy. It is so noisy. There’s so much going on. I can’t even fully explain or describe it. You really have to witness it for yourself. But also I have never felt so calm or peaceful or grounded or like myself as I did there like by the Ganges River and where we did all this training. So, you know, there’s that duality there of noise and peace, and there’s duality in all of our lives of pain and pleasure, but we’re always seeking pleasure, and we’re never very easily able to sit with the pain, and it’s just realizing the duality of both.

34:44 Wonderful. So, if if somebody had to walk away from our conversation today on this podcast with one key insight, what do you want it to be? What do you want people to get out of this conversation? I would love for people to recognize and realize that you are full right now as you are. Your journey isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s really about remembering your own wisdom and your inner power and your innate worthiness and to choose and to honor yourself in mind, body, and spirit. you know, always in always. I like to say healing really isn’t about doing more, but being more yourself in a new way. And the moment you can really soften into trust and surrender, everything begins to change.

35:39 Oh, thank you. That’s really great. Was there anything else you like to share with our audience? I think I have said what I really hope that there has been a gem or something that you can take away from today that is going to help you on your journey because we truly are here to positively help buyer and impact one another and to to put good out into the world and to know that that will come back in kind to you. If somebody had any questions or they’re interested in potentially working with you, how can they get in touch with me to you? You can join my holistic fertility coach Facebook group and be in a safe sacred space. You can also reach me on that health and wellness platform vibly. I offer yoga classes. I offer my onetoone coaching. I offer Reiki. I offer meditation because I believe that we really truly do need to prioritize our health and well-being no matter where we are on our journey. So whether that’s a fertility journey or not, I think it’s so important to take that time for you.

36:57 Well, Ashley, I wanted to thank you again for coming on our podcast. It was a truly pleasure. Uh thank you so much for sharing all your wisdom and knowledge and your experiences and so amazing that you’re inspiring all these women to have a more positive mindset about fertility and their well-being. Thank you again for sharing everything and being such an inspiration to us all. A thank you so much. It’s been a pleasure.