Relationship Patterns Keeping You Stuck? Here’s the Coaching Breakthrough You Need

0:02 Hey Jamie, thank you so much for coming on our podcast to uh talk about uh yourself and all your wisdom. I really appreciate it. I know you’re super busy, so thank you very much for coming on. Thank you. I’m very excited to be here and share um what I offer uh clients. Wonderful. So um I don’t think most people in our audience know who you are. Can you maybe talk a little bit about your history and how you got from your past to present? Yes. Well, my name is Jamie Smolars. I live in Michigan in the Metro Detroit area. I am an energy coach healer. Um, I do energy work. I have done intuitive work. I’ve done readings on people. Um, counsel over relationships. Um, I work with clients on manifestation. So what has led me to all of this is my own journey. So many years ago, over 10 years ago, I was very ill. I was very sick to the point where doctors were telling me that you wouldn’t make it.

1:06 You wouldn’t make it. So um it was a long journey, a long process. I um was grieving the death of my mom had passed away and this was like the next year I got very sick and I didn’t realize how much our emotions really affected our own bodies and I was holding all those emotions in and it basically was killing me on the inside. I didn’t know what. So, um obviously I did have some things wrong. I had very bad acid reflux. I developed asthma that was out of control that couldn’t get under um management with any of the steroids and um you know most of the medical profession only wanted to give me medications. So, I was taking lots of steroids and all kinds of um medications and I was just getting sicker and sicker and I finally found a doctor that made the connection between um acid reflux and the asthma I had and he said I was aspirating stomach acid.

2:06 So, I ended up having surgery. Um it fixed the problem and then after that I was still getting sick. So instead of doing mainstream medicine, I decided to seek out holistic help. So I started going to holistic doctors that helped me tremendously. Um I knew after surgery, I didn’t want to go back and keep taking these medications. And every time I saw a regular doctor, all they would do is write a prescription and say, "Go fill this prescription. Go take this." And that’s not what I wanted to do. So, I realized after I had um surgery, that I could no longer tolerate certain foods. So, I became gluten-free, which helped a lot of the issues um vegan, so more plant-based diet. Um and of course, it was a process. It wasn’t something that just happened overnight. Um I also started doing yoga at that time. I wasn’t really aware of yoga. I knew that there were yoga studios and things around, but I hadn’t really taken advantage of that before. Um, so I started doing yoga and becoming more in touch with my own breathing, my own body. And there happened to be a yoga teacher at the studio that was um, Reiki certified. So I started working with her and learning about energy work. And um, I remember the first time she worked on me and after class I said to her, "I don’t know what you did." And she said, "I cleared your chakras." And I said, "You did what?" I said, "I didn’t even know those words. I had never heard the word chakra before. I didn’t know energy fields in the body. So, she taught me all of that. She started working on me and she helped heal my digestive system because I still was having issues even after um having surgery. I mean, I was a thousand times better, but I was still having issues because of my sensitivity.

3:52 I’m a highly sensitive person and I didn’t realize how much that was affecting not only my health, but even going to the grocery store, being out in public, I was taking on other people’s energy. and it was still affecting me. So she taught me how to shield my energy field. She taught me how to clear my own chakras and that was the beginning journey of how I got started. So after that I started looking and searching you know googling um energy work healing and I found some amazing teachers and I found some um amazing classes. So I started that journey over 10 years ago and it has led me to where I am now. Um I have taken um hundreds of classes. I have met some amazing people around the world and I’ve had the opportunity to work on hundreds of clients as well. So my journey is still in process. I’m still working on myself every day. But I do know that how far I’ve come. I went from being very unhealthy to very healthy and I don’t have any issues wrong with me. And the most recent um health issue that I cleared and I think it’s still amazing is even though I have been very uh well for years, I still would have acid reflux. And I started peeling the layers of why do I still have, you know, a little bit of reflux here and there. And as I was clearing emotional uh traumas, I realized I no longer have acid reflux anymore. So they were deep-seated emotional seeds that were still tuck stuck in my energy field that I was able to clear and that was probably a year ago and I haven’t had any issues since. So I look at my own particular journey. I’ve worked with a lot of people. Um I work a lot with a lot of women particularly about

5:42 relationship issues. Um we work on manifestation. We work on you know what are your big triggers? What who are the people that you are drawing into your life? what is happening, what are the patterns? So, I do a lot of coaching. Um, I still do intuitive work. I do readings on people, but I kind of feel like it’s more of a holistic approach. Um, depending on the client and what their needs are. Um, we tweak it based on, you know, who’s in front of me and what are their needs and what they’re looking for. So, if you came to me and you said,"I really struggling with relationships." I would sit down and have a conversation and say, ‘You know, what particular um issues are you having? What, you know, what is happening in your life? Who are the people that you’re drawing into? And we start peeling the layers and understanding why we are stuck in these patterns, what we can do to overcome that. Um, energy work is a great way to heal our own energy fields. But remember, everything in the universe is energy. So the people that you draw in are not by chance. These are very specific people that are drawn to you that are maybe triggering you in some way, but you haven’t made that connection as to why. So, you know, sometimes it’s just enough to talk to somebody or have some energy work done just like I did back in back in the day to clear your energy field and then all of a sudden the light bulb goes on and go you go, "Oh, wow. That’s amazing. I see it now." Like I didn’t see it before, but I’m making that connection now. So, it’s funny how when I do work with clients, that seems to be the case is they’ll come back and go, "I didn’t necessarily understand what you were telling me at the time, but I get it now." So, it’s a process. You know, we’re all on this planet. Um there’s a lot of dense energy around us and especially for sensitive souls. Um we struggle even going to the grocery store with um you know, walking around the neighborhood, there’s energy everywhere.

7:35 And if we don’t protect our energy field and clear, we can take on other people’s emotions and we think they’re our own, but they’re really not. So, it can also affect our own health. Um, you know, food and diet and um, you know, mindfulness is definitely something we still need to be aware of, but um, sometimes it’s as simple as the people in in your own house, their energy affecting your mindset. So I always look at the example of when people say I don’t understand energy work. I say I use the analogy of have you ever walked in a room and felt the vibe the vibration of you know a hundred people in a room and you say to yourself oh this has good energy I want to go in or it has bad energy I don’t like this place or I don’t like these people this doesn’t resonate with me and they say yeah and I say well that’s energy energy is everywhere energy is power it’s all around us so even if it’s something that you don’t necessarily are sensitive enough to tap into just know everything on our planet is made of energy. So energy is the life force that we tap into and we can heal with this energy or it can make us ill. So those are the big pieces that I work with with clients.

8:53 So how exactly do you like shift this energy because like you talked about like somebody walks in the room they feel how is it that you help your cl shift it your client’s energy? Well, I start with um like I said, an introduction and I get to know the person and then what I do is I because I’m very sensitive, I scan the body and I scan their chakras. So, I get permission from the person that I’m working with to scan their chakras and um in our western medicine, we have 12 chakras. So, I’ll scan um chakra 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 and I can see where the the um blockages are. I can feel the blockages. So, we have chakras that resonate in the front of us and we have chakras in the back. So, if I can scan the person in the front, I can see where their blockages are and then I can scan in the back. Now, it’s interesting because a lot of time people will talk about an emotion like I was very scared or um I have a lot of worry because I don’t have money. I I’m I’m uncertain because I can’t find a job. Those are all emotions that get stuck in our chakra system. So when someone is fearful of let’s say not having enough enough money or being able to care for themselves, I will scan the back and the back like the kidney area because worry and fear is something that gets stuck in the kidneys. So I can scan and work on removing that emotion from that area to help release that. Now, that doesn’t mean the person’s going to get a job tomorrow, but what that means is it’s releasing that energetic fear and emotion that’s controlling them, that’s making them um be stuck in a loop. So, a lot of times our energetic um ties that we have with an emotion or a person or something around us, a thought, a

10:46 belief, keeps us tied in, I call it the um the hamster on the wheel. So it keeps us just going, going, going going. And sometimes we are not even aware of it on our own. We have to have somebody else point that out to us. And then once they realize like, oh wow, I’ve really been fixiated on this. I didn’t know how to like stop. And energy work can help clear that because our beliefs create our reality. So if you’ve got a negative mindset, what are you drawing in? When the universe is made of energy, you’re drawing in negativity. When your mindset is positive, you’re going to draw in more positive vibrations. Now, it doesn’t mean that, you know, do we all have negative ideas and thoughts? Of course, we do. But our mindset and our beliefs really do shape who we are and it shapes our reality around us. So, that’s also something I work on with people is our beliefs, our mindset, and how to get beyond that. we can transmute some of these um emotions when you’re ready to to clear them. Some people are just not ready to clear some of the traumas and things that they’ve had over the years. I also go back to um my childhood growing up. I I grew up in a very um sheltered home, but I was not allowed to have a voice or a choice. I very much felt stifled. I very much felt like I didn’t have I was not in charge of who I was. I I had no choice in my life. I had no choice what I wanted to do. When I went to college, it was you are going to be a teacher. You are going to be a nurse. I was told I was going to do A, B, and C. Well, early on, I developed a I was young. I was 15 or 16. I developed a thyroid issue. And I didn’t realize until years

12:43 later that my throat chakra was silenced. Like I developed this thyroid issue years ago. But I look and I go, that’s because I never had a voice. I never had a chance to voice my opinion. I was always shut down. I was never allowed to be um to say what I thought. I never I never was allowed to express myself. So a lot of times disease forms in the chakra when we haven’t been allowed to live our truth. So like I said even in my own experience I’ve realized how our emotions get stuck in our chakras and how it really does create disease. Do you only work with clients locally in Michigan or anywhere? Oh no. I’ve worked with people remotely. Um it’s amazing with technology that we can work with people all over the world. I’ve done Zoom sessions. I’ve done face FaceTime sessions. Um I’ve done a lot of work um just energetically. People will sign up for sessions that I’ve done remotely that I’m not even on a a video Zoom with them. So, it really is dependent on the person and what they’re looking for. Um but yes, we can definitely set up sessions depending on whatever it is you’re looking for using modern technology. I call it Zoom, Facebook, FaceTime, um Instagram, whatever the person is comfortable doing.

14:08 So, are there any like specific tools or methods you use? Like you mentioned a few before when you do your work? Yes, like I said, um the coaching piece of it is a nice place that I like to start. I like to dig deep and see what specifically is um the blockage like what what specifically is causing you to feel um um blocked in some way or having um drawing toxic people into your life. I deal with a lot of women that have relationship issues. So, a lot of time is just getting to the crux of what is causing that and seeing the pattern. So, I specifically worked with someone just the other day, and this was interesting. She was buying a house, and there was a lot of ups and downs with this house, and she was very um uh upset with the real estate agent, and she ended up getting her house, and she loves it, and it it’s not the house that was the issue. As I was talking to her and we were peeling these layers, um, she had an epiphany and she realized that a lot of the emotion behind this house had to do with her own father. She also grew up in a family where she wasn’t allowed to um, have any say. Her father told her everything. He was very much very narcissistic, very overbearing. and she ended up um when she became in her late 20s leaving in the middle of the night because it was a very abusive toxic relationship and she ended up getting out and you know away from that environment. Um she built a business, she’s selling um things online, she’s doing very well, but the emotion around this house and the karma around it was very much her father. So even though she wanted to enjoy this new purchase and move into her house, the agent was triggering her in the same way her

16:02 father triggered her. Meaning she didn’t have a voice. And some of these issues were not big things. But when she delved deep enough, she realized like, oh my goodness, like I didn’t have an issue with the agent. I had an issue with my father and their unresolved patterns or unresolved issues. So I said to her, "This is going to keep showing up until we remove the blockage. We transmute that energy and you realize like it no longer is controlling you. You’re not in the control of your father anymore. You don’t live under his household anymore. You are creating your own journey, your own life." And she was very grateful. And um it was funny because she kind of looked at me and goes, "How do you know all of this?" And I said, "Well, I just do. I sometimes I just tap in and I I I know what I know. But it was enough for for me to just connect the dots for her that she also realized like yeah like I wasn’t mad at the situation. I was mad at my own family and the karma that I had to overcome and she’s ready to start her life and her journey but she was still being held back by her past. That’s what it came down to. She was still being held back.

17:12 So um you know we all have patterns. We all have things in our lives that need to be transmuted and dealt with and worked on. And that’s just one particular um situation. But I deal with a lot of women that have relationship issues or they keep attracting the same type of person. Um before I realized my own gifts, I was attracting a whole lot of narcissistic people in my life. Um same relationship, different person time and time again. And until I realized what I was doing, it was just an open door of people coming in with the same personality traits. And when I started doing the energy work, I realized this was my mother. This was my mom. The traits of these individuals were unique in in their own right, but they were also a carbon copy of my mom. And I didn’t realize that at first until again through healing in my own journey. I made that connection. And guess what? I no longer attract those people into my life anymore. I’ve done the work and I can actually It doesn’t mean that they’re not there. I think sometimes the universe brings us messages and things that we have to um to say, "Are you really ready? Did you really get rid of that pattern?"

18:32 But I’m aware of it and I know what to look for and I know what to see and I can spot it a mile away. Whereas before I would allow these people to take over and kind of um step all over me. It’s the lack of boundaries. I didn’t have any boundaries. So I I wanted people to like me. I wanted people to see me for who I was. But that also meant to my own well-being, you know, to the to the deficit of my own well-being. Um, I allowed people to take advantage of me until I realized like, wait a minute, like I’m getting sick because you’re taking advantage of me. So, that that really was a huge epiphany for me as well. But um transmuting the relationships especially with the narcissistic um individuals was definitely a connection to my own childhood and growing up. And like I said, the pattern is something that um you know I feel like I’ve worked on quite a bit, but I also know there’s always work to be done on that.

19:37 So what are some common like challenges you see women like come to you for when they when they talk about their relationships? Do you see like common themes. Oh, very much so. I I see themes of women feeling lost, like they just don’t know what they’re looking for in an individual. So, a lot of times when we talk about like, you know, if you want a relationship, I say if you want a relationship, sometimes through conversation, you realize they don’t even want a relationship, but they’re um they don’t want to be alone. So for a lot of women sometimes they are more comfortable being with the wrong person because they don’t want to be alone. So they would rather keep that individual around instead of being on their own. So for the women that I have come across and the women I’ve worked with, it’s basically empowering themselves to stand on their own and realize that they can do it. So that’s one pattern I’ve seen.

20:34 Another pattern is similar to my own pattern of drawing in the same type of person, same personality traits, just different guy or a different woman. It’s the same traits but with a different person. So that’s also another pattern we work on. Okay, why do I keep drawing in the selfish toxic relationship or the drama or um uh the the people that are already in relationships? You know, for for a lot of people, it really is um certain patterns that come up. Maybe it’s um dating people younger than you, dating people older than you. I’ve seen lots of different patterns and people that are um you know, working on different things. And it’s not necessarily right or wrong. It’s just a pattern. So, if you realize what your pattern is, you can understand how to work best and realize what’s right for you. So, like I said, I deal with a lot of different relationship issues with women. And like I said, whether it’s um you know, certain personality traits, drawing people in, self-confidence, um manifesting, I feel like we are in a time of uh really empowering women. So, you know, the last few years we’ve definitely had this rise of female power. We see more women in um businesses. We see more women running businesses, CEO CEOs. We’ve seen people um you know be self-employed, starting their own businesses. So, it feels like the feminine energy is really rising up.

22:08 But I also think um to some degree some women are ready for that power, but other women are are a little confused still or don’t understand what to do with the choices that are in front of us. Um, again, in my experience, a lot of the women that I’ve dealt with or worked with, um, are just so used to being told from young on what to do, where to go, what to study, where to work, um, you know, who to be friends with that they don’t even know what it looks like to make their own choices, and then they get in a relationship with some other individual that also tells them the same thing. You’ll do this, you’ll go here, um, you’ll have this, you know, this type of car. you basically have no choice or no voice in how you want to live. So I feel like for a lot of the women that I’ve worked with is they’ve been disempowered and then they continue to bring in the same pattern of individuals that are also disempowering them. So it’s realizing their own worth, their own um abilities and realizing that you don’t necessarily when you really want a relationship, it’s not about someone completing you. It’s about having those compatible traits of a soulmate. It’s it’s one thing to bring in somebody who’s a carbon copy of yourself, which is, you know, a lot of people will refer to that as like a twin frame flame relationship, like looking in a mirror.

23:35 But do you really want to be with somebody that’s exactly like you? Probably not. It’s triggering all those emotions that you need to work on. That’s really what those relationships are about. what you really want to draw in is is a soulmate relationship, but a com we have lots of soulmates in our world, though. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that um one soulmate is better, but you you’re you’re wanting to draw in a compatible soulmate. So, not someone that’s triggering you 24/7 where it becomes a chaotic environment or toxic. It’s someone that you’re compatible with. So, I work a lot with women on that technique. That’s really wonderful. I mean, what are the signs that a woman may benefit from coaching like like the type of coaching you offer? Well, there’s a lot of different signs. It’s funny. I I can even be out and about and I turn around in the grocery store, start talking to somebody, and we get in this in-depth conversation about relationships or people. Um, I really do think everybody benefits from coaching.

24:42 Sometimes it’s it’s just the mindset of um getting to somebody else’s perspective. We can all benefit from hearing um from other people. But I really do think we have so much social media coming at us. We’ve got um you know, lots of different choices and voices out there. And um it’s finding somebody that you really connect with, finding somebody that you really feel comfortable with. It’s almost like finding a therapist or somebody that you’re working with that you really do feel comfortable sharing, you know, the most intimate issues that you’re having with that other person. So, you know, energy work is the type of things that, you know, being intuitive, it’s like I I can see energy blockages. I can work with people on that. Um, it doesn’t mean that, like I said, you have to still do the work yourself. Clearing energy is one piece of the puzzle, but you as an individual have to take ownership. If all you’re going to do is lay on the couch and just play the poor me, oh, look at my life.

25:47 Look at how miserable I am. You’re not going to get any better. You know, energy is one piece of the puzzle, but you also have to do the work and you also have to be mindful enough to make choices. if your diet is not right or um you know again if you’re just doing toxic um I say chemicals you know lots of chemicals or doing um you know drinking smoking whatever your vices are those are all things to mask a lot of emotions and feelings that we’re having because you’re unable to deal with what’s in front of you. So you know those are all pieces of the puzzle. I’m not saying don’t have a drink, don’t smoke, don’t do this, but we have to look at um you know all aspects of what is happening. And if you’re using um vices to self-medicate, that’s also something you have to look at. So like I said, there’s a lot of different things that we can identify and um you know, create a plan as we move forward to help work through that. Um like I said, my journey has been ongoing for 12 years now. Um, I really do wish this was something that I would have realized when I was in my 20s or younger. I had no idea energy work existed. I had no idea that these resources were out there. So, I feel very blessed and honored that I I I found good people that helped me. Like I said, I happened to find a teacher at the yoga studio is where I started that was doing Reiki. I had no idea what Reiki even was. So that was the beginning of my journey. So I’ve been doing energy work for um almost 12 years now. So like I said, I’m always perfecting my practice. I’m always learning. I take classes all the time.

27:28 Um I think that’s also something that when we are on this healing journey, we’re always learning. Learning never ends. There’s always stuff to work on and there’s off always different modalities that we can bring in. But I also know to some degree um as human beings we also sometimes get stuck in the cycle of I need to know more. I need to know more and we have lots of information. It’s almost like being in college for 20 years. Um you know all of these classes but you still can’t find a job. You know, sometimes at the end of the day, you can be overeducated or, you know, at the top of your field in terms of education, but in applicable skills, it’s not applying to the job force or for whatever reason, you can’t seem to make that work. Energy work is the same way. You can take lots and lots of classes, but if you’re not helping others, which I do believe our purpose on this planet is to help other people, if you’re not helping others or you’re not using your gifts to help better society and give back, I kind of wonder what’s the point. What’s the point of that? You know, everybody has families and people and um you know, cousins and nephews, nieces, whoever. Everybody needs healing at some point. So you can tap into your own family and start there. Start your journey with your own family and see how can I help you in what ways because we should all be of service to other people.

28:58 So for people who are not that familiar with coaching and energy healing, can you maybe explain like how is that different than traditional therapy? Well, coaching work in terms of energy work, it kind of coincides and goes together, is different than traditional social worker. Um, I don’t just sit there and have you talk the entire time. I’ll ask you probing questions. I’ll try to get to the root cause of that. And like I said, I think the difference between what I do and what a therapist does is I scan your energy field to see where the blockages are. I ask questions to see, are these the type of things that you are dealing with? are, you know, are you somebody that worries a lot or do you have a lot of fear in your life or you’re having a hard time finding a job and I can see that your base chakra is um not very big, but you have a very good heart and your your heart chakra is very big, but your base chakra is very small. When I can scan a body and see where how big your chakras are, that tells me a lot of information that you don’t even have to say to me. I already know by scanning your body what some of these things are. And then as you talk and say these are um you know I want people to work on topics or things that are important to them. So even if I scan you and I see that your uh base chakra is small compared to your heart chakra, but you’re out there giving back and you’re giving um food to the poor, you work at um you know a a food shelter, you’re giving out supplies um but you’re not really worried about money. We don’t address that. We We I prefer to deal with issues that are important to you. I’m not going to tell you what you need to work on. I’m going to listen to what you have to say and then we’ll come up with a plan together.

30:43 So, I feel like all energy work um and all coaching needs to be a collaborative effort. We have to work together. So, what advice do you give to women that may be struggling in in like a toxic relationship and they’re not sure like what to do? Yes. And again, I come across that quite a bit. So, I’ve worked with a lot of women and like I said, the big thing is realizing that you’re cutting a pattern. For a lot of women, they don’t realize that. They think, "Oh, I’ve had five, six boyfriends." But then when we really get to the bottom of it, we realize it’s the same type of guy, but just five different relationships. So, number one is identifying that pattern and seeing who you’re drawing in. Number two, realizing and empowering yourself. Like I said, in my experience, most of the women that I’ve worked with um don’t feel powerful enough to say things in their relationships or they feel like they don’t have a voice of some kind or I’ve also worked with women that felt that um uh they like the the male dominant or you know just I happen to deal with a lot of women um the male dominant fix fixture or you know the the divine male um is just not the right person for them or they’re overbearing for the man and the man is just not right for the woman. So, it’s it’s a whole mix of different things. But like I said, for the most part, I I most of my work is working with females on relationships. Um you know, working through some of these um you know, traits that we sometimes have over time and realizing that we have the wisdom and the strength to overcome some of these adversities. But like I said, a lot of times it’s realizing this pattern. It’s clearing these emotional blockages so it can open you up to finding the right people. Like you said, you know, sometimes people get caught in that hamster on the wheel web, but you

32:38 realize when you clear this energy or you release the past, like the karma, the past that will allow you space to bring in something new. And that’s what people sometimes forget. A lot of women forget that they don’t want to release um the relationship because they’re afraid maybe they won’t find somebody else or they they’re afraid to be alone or they’re afraid that um nobody will love them in this way. So there’s a lot of emotions when it comes to that or maybe this person makes them feel comfortable because it feels like their own father but it’s not necessarily the right relationship. So, I coach a lot around the mindset, the beliefs. I coach around finding a compatible soulmate because you can have a soulmate, and like I said, we have lots of soulmates, but if you’re not on the same page, you can be in the same book, but you’re not on the same page.

33:35 If you’re not on the same page with somebody, it’s a relationship where you just feel like it’s always something. Always something. And I call that the roller coaster ride. So, it’s always drama. It’s always just, you know, some type of something coming up that um is an emotional trigger of some kind and it creates a lot of havoc in people and it’s exhausting. I have a lot of women that come to me that go, I’m just exhausted from this rat race because it’s always drama. It’s always something. And until you choose to get off the roller coaster, you’re going to keep doing that over and over again. So I mean what are the most common misconceptions um people have about energy work and intuition? What are some common misconceptions women have or people have about energy work? Well, I I think I’ve I’ve heard it all. I think there are people that are believers. They go, "Yes, I understand energy." I think there are people out there that go, "What is this?" like I don’t understand this. What is that going to do for me? But I also think that when you have a positive mindset, it might be something that you don’t understand. Maybe it’s new to you. Um I like to believe that if you have a positive mindset, even if it’s something you’ve never done and you’re open to change, you’re going to get a benefit from it. So I like to say to people, you know, maybe this is something you’ve never done. If you had a session where I I clear your energy field and we work on some things that are important to you, let’s see how you do. But you have to be open-minded enough to want to change.

35:19 But I have had resistant people that I have worked with that if you don’t have the will to change or you don’t want to change, do you think you’re going to get better? No. So, it’s very much, you know, like anything else, you have to be your own advocate. You have to work on yourself. Like I said, if you just lay on the couch and think that everything a job is going to land in your lap or the right relationship is going to show up at your door. That’s not the case at all. You have to do your own work. You have to do your part. You have to empower yourself and make good choices. And when you make good choices, you bring the right people in. So, I’ve also been dealing a lot with women that um maybe the network around them or the people around them are not necessarily the best individuals. So, sometimes you need to cut people out of your world, whether it’s your friends or family or different people around that are not necessarily serving you. And for a lot of people that becomes a very hard thing to do to say, you know, this friend I’ve known for the last 20 years is somebody that is just not the right person for me. Maybe you’re just you’ve taken different paths, but they’re creating a whole lot of toxic behavior or bringing a lot of drama into your relationship. Sometimes it’s not easy to walk away from people that you’ve known or family members or, you know, put them at arms length. So, I’ve worked with a lot of people that sometimes have to make hard choices. And I know that I had to do that in my life.

36:53 There were people that I had to let go of because it was making me ill. It was making me sick. These were friends that were taking advantage of me that I didn’t realize until I put my foot down. They were like, "Well, you’ve changed. You’re different." And I was like, "No, I’m not. I just empowered myself and I’m speaking up for myself now." That’s the difference is I let you walk all over me and I’m no longer allowing that. So, it’s just setting that that boundary with people. And that’s what I think a lot of women, a lot of clients that I work with um need is just that little boost of of confidence. And also, like I said, I I work in conjunction with energy work to help clear some of these blockages. So, I have not had anybody come back and say they haven’t had a benefit. Everybody has come back and said they’ve made gains in their life. They feel better. Um, again, it can be an epiphany. It could be um you know just a mind bubble I call it like something in their life has changed or shifted or uh some reality for them feels much easier instead of like you know the big mountain they have to climb. So like I said you know coaching and energy work it all goes hand inand I love to work with clients like I said all over the all over the world. I’ I’ve worked with clients in Romania. I’ve worked with clients in Italy, Australia. So, I’ve definitely tapped into energies all over the world and it’s really who you resonate with, who you feel comfortable with. But I would be very happy to um you know, work with clients who find me and understand my work and I would be happy and open to um working with them.

38:40 You maybe explain a little bit more about how you help women find self-love. Yes. Well, again, it it’s a journey. It’s a process and I know even in my own life that was very hard because of the pattern that I kept drawing in. Um I think like I said I I wish I would have known some of these things early on that I didn’t know. It took me um 40 years to figure that out. So I think that is a huge component. I think our society now I I love that we are definitely evolving to the point where people are more conscious of self-love, more conscious of um our energy fields, more conscious of the people around us. I see this in my area and people that I work with. Um I just see people more aware of it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that, you know, they know all of the pieces, but I definitely think there’s more of a conscious effort in our society now to take care of ourselves. Like I said, I feel women are are becoming more empowered, taking more ownership of their lives instead of being directed.

39:46 So, I think there’s a whole piece of um self-improvement and self-development that’s out there. I think there’s a lot of modalities with the energy work and people finding holistic ways instead of more mainstream medicine ways. So like I said, I think when all of these practices work together and I also am a testament to yes, you need mainstream medicine, but I took more of a holistic approach and I I had wonderful results as well, but it doesn’t mean I disregard mainstream medicine. I think they work collaboratively together. So like I said, I think there is very much a woman empowerment movement going on and I would love to work with um you know with different individuals on their own stuff I call it. But yes, there’s a lot of ways that we can work together to empower ourselves and and just have more grace and more um uh freedom in who we are and and stand on our feet and feel empowered. That’s really a big piece of it, a big testament to who we are is feeling empowered and owning our decisions and who we are. So, you know, those are all things that I bring to um our sessions and work work together on.

41:03 And just like I said, let you know that, you know, I’m a woman. I I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I I have a history, but I also know, you know, all of the work that I’ve done to get to this point, and I do feel like I have a lot to offer other women. And I have so many people come back to me and say, "You have been empowering. Your words have really helped me." And like I said, sometimes it’s just a matter of connecting the dots, just seeing it from a different perspective. But those are all things that I look at to help women in relationships or money, finance, um, job searching. It’s I I feel like the teacher shows up when the student is ready. What led you to uh focus a lot of your work in helping women with their relationships? Like how did that come about? Well, I think it help it happened because of my own turmoil. Like I I just kept drawing in the same same type of of man. It was like over and over again.

42:01 And I’m like, what is this? It was, you know, new person in my life, but the same behavior traits as the one before, the one before, the one before. And I noticed it, this was on my journey, but it was early on that I wasn’t really understanding the pattern that I kept drawing in. So the more classes I took and the more um light bulbs that went off for me, I realized literally woke up one day and realized I’m just drawing in the same person. Just, you know, different individuals, but the same person. And then when I made that connection with my own mother and her personality, very um strong personality, very much like you’re going to do what I say, um the narcissistic it’s about me um type type mentality. And then I also had a mother that used illness to manipulate and get attention. So when I started putting these pieces together and realizing this is the relationships I was drawing in, that was how I made that connection. So until I did that, it was literally the same thing. The the the revolving door of meeting different individuals with the same type of behavior. So on my own journey, I realized that.

43:22 That’s so what inspires you most about your the work that you do with your coaching and energy work? Well, I really do love energy work. I love coaching. I I’m a people person. I love talking to people. Um this is a big part of who I am. This really um every day like I wake up and I’m all about energy work in the morning. I clear my energy um before I leave for the day. Um I channel white light. I’m clearing my own chakras. Like throughout the day, I’m doing lots of energy work on myself just so I can function. Um there’s a lot of crazy energy out in the world that I’m so sensitive. I pick up everything. So I have to do a lot of energy work to keep my own energy light and bright um so that I don’t struggle. So I work day day in day out endlessly. I I take a lot of classes. I still perfect my own practice. I love learning. Um, I think there’s so many modalities out there and there’s so many practitioners and different people that um, I can learn from. Um, I love reading articles. I love tapping into, you know, we have social media now which is amazing. So, I have also found wonderful energy healers that have helped me on Instagram, Facebook, um, Tik Tok. So, I love tapping into other people as well because we all have something to offer.

44:45 So, I look at the network of holistic energy workers and healers as we’re all doing similar work. It might be a little different depending on the clients, but we’re all here to make the world a better place. So, what are some of the most rewarding aspects of the work that you do? Oh, I think there’s so much. Like I said, it it it just makes me so happy when I see somebody um again just stand in their own power and become more confident with who they are. Especially women to be able to say, you know, I never had the confidence to start a business and I want to be a photographer. I want to be a designer. I want to, you know, be a hairdresser. Whatever it is you want to do, it’s giving them that confidence to do whatever it is they want to do. Um, I also see a lot of women struggle with getting wanting to get married or not get married or defying the odds. This is also something I see a lot. You know, for years our society very much was you’re a certain age, you’re in your 20s, well, you better find your soulmate, you better get married, and you better have kids. And I see women really struggling with that. Um I think you know again just in in our culture people think you have to get married, you have to have kids and that’s not always the journey that you’re supposed to do. It doesn’t mean it’s not right for you. It just means that um you know maybe you’re not going to get married in your 20s. Maybe you’re going to wait till your 30s. Maybe you want to travel.

46:19 Maybe you want to see the world first. Maybe you want to you know experience different things before you settle down. Um, so I’m seeing all kinds of different things that are happening that are different than what I grew up knowing. Um, grew up seeing and grew up differently than what society tells us we should do. Right? So, I see women grapple with that a lot too is like, um, I’ve had women come to me recently like, I don’t want to have kids. And it it’s fine. That’s a choice that you need to make. But we still have a lot of pressure from our own families, moms, grandmas, um different family members. The first question they ask you at holidays is um when are you going to have a baby? And people get very uncomfortable with that. Um everybody is on their own journey and they don’t want to feel pressured to do something that they’re not ready to do. So, it’s really just owning your power and realizing like having kids, getting married, like doing these these things that we were supposed to do doesn’t necessarily always fit the timeline of who you are and what you want. So, just knowing that you have options and you have the power to choose the direction of your life.

47:31 So, that’s a big piece of what I see as well. Well, that’s really amazing. So if if somebody especially a woman is interested in in asking you any questions about this interview or interested in working with you, how can they get in touch with you? Well, I am on Facebook. My first name is Jamie. J A Y M. Uh last name S M O L A R Z. So you can find me on Facebook. I am on Instagram. My Instagram name is a little different. It’s Jamie. J A Y M. The number 101010. So, um that is me on Instagram and they are linked together. So, you can find Instagram and um Facebook. Um the accounts are linked together in some way and then I am on Tik Tok as well. So, it’s my first name, last name on Instagram or I’m sorry, on Tik Tok. Um so, you can reach out and I do have an email if if people are a little more old school and they don’t have social media or they don’t want to be um on a platform. Um, my email is j smyyahoo.com. So, you could always reach out and email me as well. Um, I would be more than happy to um, you know, connect with you.

48:50 Well, thank you so much, Jamie. Is there any like final words or anything else you like to just uh share with our audience? Well, yes. I just want to say that we are all on this planet together and like I said I am very happy and excited to work with um individuals. I think we find each other for a reason. I think that um you know sometimes it’s just a matter of putting it out there and having the right people show up at the right time. So I just want to say that um you know reach out to me. I would be more than happy to help you on your journey. And I just think that we all have different skill sets to offer and um I am very happy to be talking to you Daniel and uh connect with you because this platform is very important. It gets out to a lot of people. Um just having this network that is no longer just local people or um in the United States.

49:45 We can actually work with people all over the world. So, um, I love to be able to get, you know, the work out and letting people know that this is something that you don’t have to necessarily live where I live. I can talk to you on the other side of the world and we can still connect in the same way. Well, Jamie, it’s been a pleasure uh talking with you today. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experience. It was a true pleasure. I learned a lot listening from you and I’m sure a lot of people in the audience have too. So, thank you so much for coming on the show and uh sharing with us. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Yes, this was so much fun and like I said, I just appreciate the opportunity to be able to talk with you. Definitely. Well, thank you and have yourself a wonderful day. Thank you. You too.